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“I saw a shining star rising from the East.
I thought: maybe, maybe, maybe it was coming for me.
Mother Mary held her belly and the Father was pleased.
Baby Jesus I hear you crying for me.

Mother Mary don’t you know that you were never on your own?
Father Joseph when you dream, I am Comfort. Comforting. It’s only me.
Baby Jesus when you’re scared, I am always, always there.
Daddy, please. Take this cup from me.

Little John is gonna turn the hearts of fathers to their children!
And from the moment he kicked inside of Elizabeth’s stomach
I knew I was too frail to stomach this:

What a jump from heaven to come down here for me!
I pray to God my soul to keep me safe for eternity!
Don’t be frightened, Mary! I know it’s a lot to carry
But I have been preparing you for the coming of the Lord -

“I wonder what this child will turn out to be.”

And I can just hear so many people singing, “Nothing.”
I’ve had an epiphany: “Let’s kill all the children to be certain that we’ve killed him”
But I’ve got a lot of children’s books that don’t mention killing children…

I think we watered down the stories so they’ll taste better with the wine
And we are a sleeping giant,
But the Lord will wake us up in time… so Prophet of the Most High!
The prophecy is nearly nigh, and I’m singing with the
Shepherds and the angels and the saints on the birth-night!

“Glory be to heaven high!
And peace on earth to all those in whom God delights!”

I offered you gold and incense, would you take it as a sacrifice?
And like Simeon I will not die till I have seen the Messiah
With my own eyes… well I’ve seen him with my own eyes!

So Mother Mary, don’t you know that you are never on your own?
And Father Joseph can’t you see that Mother Mary trusted me?
And baby Jesus, when you’re scared… I am there!
I am there!

Here he is! Here he is!
I am the voice shouting in the wilderness!
Make straight a road for him…

(“And people, meet your salvation.”)

But I am not worthy enough to hold your sandals!
So when you tell me that you love me, I’m just trying to get a handle on the fact
That I can slip my fingers through your palms
(And realize that you were right all along)

“The captives will be released and the blind will see,
And the oppressors will set the downtrodden free.”

“Physician, I need help,
and can you help me? I am willing…”

“Be clean” and I watched the leprosy leave!

So I stood and said, “Master, can you heal me??
He said, “Your sins are forgiven!” They said, “That’s blasphemy!”
But my Jesus is a revolutionary –
So after that, he gave me back my legs and my feet
and I ran around screaming, “Praise be the Majesty!”

God bless those who realize their need for him,
for the kingdom of heaven is given to them.
And bless the mourning, for you with be comforted.
Bless the gentle and lowly,
for the whole earth will belong to them –
and hunger and thirst for justice,
for I promise it will be given.

And God bless the merciful,
for you will be shown mercy,
And God bless the pure in heart,
for I will show you Me.

And to those of you that work for peace,
I will call you my own!
And to those of you that hurt for me,
my heaven will be your home!

I will be rejected, but I will never be dethroned,
so let the sorrows and the sadness and the victory be foretold.

FLASH BACK: A few minutes just before the kiss!
Judas! Do you remember back when I healed Lazarus
and the people rejoiced and screamed and he was set free?
Thank you for sharing in that memory with me!

FLASH BACK: In-between the times you’ve betrayed me!
Peter! Do you remember walking out on the sea?
I promise one day you’re going to learn to trust me…
It was scary at first but we laughed once we got to safety –
Thank you for sharing in that memory with me!

FLASH BACK: Just before the crack of the whip hits and
tears the rest of my skin off of my back and chest!
My friends! Do you remember the five loaves and two fish?
Do you remember my compassion on those of them that were sick?
Do you remember blessing it and thanking God with the least of these?
Thank you for sharing in that memory with me!

FLASH BACK: Just before the crow of thorns on my head.
Do you remember laughing around the table, breaking bread…
Sharing wine! Do you remember what I said?
Well this is poured out to forgive the sins of many…
Thank you for sharing in that memory with me!

FLASH BACK: just before I take my last breath!
Before I close my eyes and God turns his head and
I lose the will to live and the strength in my legs
and my heart breaks and thunder strikes and I am left for dead…

My Bride! Do you remember your first love and the feelings you had for me?
Do you remember our long talks and the way that you wept with me?
Do you remember our long walks and the way that you stepped with me?
Do you remember the silence and the way that we’d listen
to the wonder I created… and you’re eyes used to glisten
like the stars…

I’m just kind of wondering where you are…

The times you spend with me are far and in-between – I miss you.
PLEASE! WON’T YOU COME AND MAKE MORE MEMORIES WITH ME?

I’m here with you, be here with me!
I want to hold you and I want you to see that
that cross you took up to follow me isn’t dead
and I am not another empty fleeting thing.

The stone is rolled away and I’m awake and I breathe.
Stick your fingers through my hands if it helps you believe –
Not my will but Yours through the steps I take with these feet…
Make this triumph our memory as we sing and we scream:

SURRENDER IS DIFFICULT, BUT
VICTORY IS SO SWEET!

I saw a shining star rising from the east,
I thought, maybe, maybe, maybe it was comin’ for me…”

I’ve worked regularly in the kitchen at Lake Ann for so long now that thinking about spending summer anywhere else feels a little unreal.  After all, when we’re kids our lives are practically defined by routine, and adulthood seems so far away that we almost begin to believe that those routines will never end.  Then, suddenly, all of the things that we took for granted, the patterns that we grew to love and expect, are gone, and we have to choose for ourselves where to go next.

It’s so tempting in this in-between place to fight for my beloved consistencies.  I want to keep change at arm’s reach, but the only way I can succeed is to make a tooth-and-nail struggle to stay in place as time pushes me slowly and irresistibly forward.  As difficult as it is let go of the past, there comes a time when I have to admit that I will never be able to get it back and that if I don’t devote my energy to building a worthwhile future, eventually I’ll be left with nothing but nostalgia and a paralyzing case of apathy addiction.  My years at Lake Ann were some of the best of my life, and I’ll never forget them, but I’ve got plenty of best years left ahead of me, and if I want to seize them I’ve got to move on to whatever God has for me next.  He won’t steer me wrong.

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I believe my generation can take a stand.

I believe my generation is ready for something new.

I believe my generation is ready to make a difference.

I believe my generation can take a stand against judgment.

I believe my generation can spread love in this world.

I believe my generation can free the estimated 27 million slaves in OUR world.

I believe my generation can end world hunger.

I believe my generation remembers the homeless and can do something for them.

I believe my generation can do something to fight HIV/AIDS.

I believe my generation can bring the world to Christ.

I believe my generation can be one of the first generations to do what they say they will do.

I believe my generation can change the world.

We are the next generation, and with God’s doing, we CAN change the world.

I go to a large public university that takes its athletics seriously. Further, it takes its rivalry seriously. Football is a religion in this state of Alabama*, yet it has no NFL team. Why would it need one. There are people that stubbornly hold that the University of Alabama football program could beat most NFL teams. Basically, if you grow up in Alabama, you grow up cheering for the Crimson Tide–unless you grow up cheering for Auburn, but that doesn’t seem to happen very often. Even though these people cheer for Alabama, they often end up going to school at Auburn because Auburn’s academics are about 16.5 times better. So you’d think these people would start cheering for the University they attend, right? No, of course not. They continue cheering for Auburn’s hated rival. They don’t belong.

This world is filled with contradictions like this. Every day we encounter innumerable things that should not be mixed but are. Men and cooking, McDonalds and people’s stomachs, fat guys and speedos, etc. In fact, this very world is a contradiction.

In the beginning God created everything, and everything was perfect, but because of man’s choice to turn away from Him, Creation was ruined. In fact, Creation groans. But God has a plan. This place with such painful juxtapositions of the good and bad won’t last forever. God has  a plan to make all things perfect again.

Those who call Him Father will be with Him in heaven, and then maybe I’ll find out how one can be both laid back and aggressive at the same time.

*If that’s an exaggeration at all, it’s not much of one.

1. My first visit to Chicago. Years and years ago, Dad went to Chicago for a month to take an extensive training course for his job. My siblings and I were still very young, and the thought of losing him for a month was pretty daunting, but celebration replaced our apprehension when he told us that we could all come down to Chicago on the train with Mom and stay with him for a week in the middle of his trip. For me, that week is a block of pure, glorious wonder amongst my memories. We set up our home base in Dad’s apartment and set out from there on an endless stream of adventures in the big city. We saw the Museum of Science and Industry, the Shedd Aquarium, and the Lincoln Park Zoo. We ate in a Rainforest Café with a giant fishtank-archway in the lobby and explored an enormous mall with a fountain that ran down beside the escalators. The biggest reason that this week will forever hold a special place in my mind, however, is because it was during this week that I learned about Moody Bible Institute and decided that when I grew up, that’s where I wanted to go to school. Nearly ten years later, that love for Chicago and Moody hasn’t abated in the least, and I’m thrilled to see God leading me back to the city that stole my heart all those years ago.

2. My first novel. Just about everyone knows about me and my unquenchable love for NaNoWriMo, but I actually wrote my first novel long before I ever learned about that glorious king of all challenges. I was in fifth grade, and Mom and I were looking for a good writing program for my next year of school. When we found a curriculum called “Learning to Write the Novel Way” that promised to lead students through the process of writing a book in just one school year, I was sold. We bought the curriculum and I spent the next several months sitting in my room, listening to a cassette tape of the O.C. Supertones and transcribing by hand the adventures of Josiah Byrding and his companions in the land of Fantasea. The end result was pretty much unreadable, but I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so proud of myself as I was in the moment that I tacked the words “The End” onto that sloppy heap of prose. Ever since, I’ve known that what I did in those months was something I wanted to keep on doing for the rest of my life, Supertones and all.

3. My first missions trip to Mexico. For a while, Dad embarked every January on a one-week trip to Mexico with a large group of men from all around the country to help construct church buildings for some of the Mexican congregations. One year, when I was fourteen, he offered my older brother Andrew and I the chance to accompany him, which we eagerly accepted. That week, I discovered my innate and irrational passion for long bus trips, experienced a culture entirely different from my own, met dozens of brothers and sisters in Christ whose joy and kindness put me to shame even though they had far less than I, and worked hard at a big, difficult project without giving up. Everything about that experience strengthened and stretched me as a Christian and as a human being, and even though I returned once more with Dad the next year, that first trip was definitely the most memorable.

4. Lake Ann Camp. There is no way that I could narrow this one down to any one memory. Lake Ann Camp is the place where I grew up, where I became the person that I am. I attended camp there for seven years and served on the kitchen staff for four years, and if I could live there I would do it in a heartbeat and never look back. That place is home to me, and the friends that I’ve met there will be my friends for the rest of eternity. I met Adam and Adam at Lake Ann, spent countless days and nights laughing and talking and working and living with them and dozens of other incredible people who helped me figure out who I am and how to love all of the people out there who are fascinatingly (and fortunately) unlike me. I’ve never loved any place quite like I love Lake Ann, and I probably never will.

5. My freshman year at Moody. Last school year, I took out a student loan and achieved my dream of attending Moody Bible Institute. That year, from about May 31st 2010 (when I headed out to Lake Ann) until the next May (when I came home from school) was the best year of my life so far. The men of Culby 12, like my roommate Dan Schubert, our neighbors Adam and Robert, resident Koreans Kyu and Zech, RA Jake, musical genius “Miami” Jon Rosado, and so many others made life at Moody fun, encouraging, challenging, and utterly, uniquely wonderful. The classes were fantastic, the professors were incredible, my Wednesday nights helping care for the kids at Salem Christian School with Keegan and Alisha were unforgettable, and don’t even get me started about Men’s Choir. You will never meet a more talented, upbeat, godly, friendly, and completely excellent group of guys in your life. The time I spent touring the Southern US with those men was pure condensed awesome, and Doc Singley is the man. No exceptions.

6. Meeting Tek. Almost exactly a year ago, I happened upon a cartoon called “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”, heard that guys my age all over the Internet were watching it and actually enjoying it, and decided to try it. It is now one of my favorite television shows and I watch it regularly, but that’s not the point. The point is, I wrote a post on my old blog about the show and what I thought of it, and this mysterious stranger by the name of Tekaramity commented on it with some interesting insights. We struck up a conversation by email, discovered that we have a lot in common and enjoy each other’s company, and the rest is history. Twelve months later, Tek is one of my dearest friends, and I can’t imagine not knowing him. If you ever get the opportunity to make his acquaintance, don’t pass it up; he is the most encouraging and uplifting human being I’ve ever met, and his love for God and others is downright contagious. Getting to know him has been an absolute pleasure.

7. BroNYCon Winter 2012. This is the last memory on the list, since I like my lists to consist of an odd number of entries and this post is getting reaaaally long, but I couldn’t leave it out because it was stupendous. I’ve already blogged about it here a little, but to recap why it was so excellent: I got to fly on a plane for the first time (and I really want to do it again as soon as possible), I got to see New York City (not a huge fan; it’s too big for this country boy), I attended a convention (which, as a nerd, I’ve always wanted to try), I met Tek in person (along with his exemplary younger brother), I got to watch an episode of MLP:FiM with a whole room full of fellow bronies (that many people laughing/cheering at once is electrifying), I met three of the voice actresses from the show (they’re really nice), I explored a haunted hotel (if I haven’t relayed that story here yet, I really ought to soon because it was crazy), and I planned and executed the whole expedition on my own to boot. In short, I had a blast!

And that brings us to today, the first day of my twenty-first trip around the sun. Looking back at these vignettes as I write them, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone who has made my journey so far so undeniably beautiful. Thanks to my parents and my siblings, for being the most supportive and superlative family I could ever imagine, to my friends from Lake Ann and Moody, too many to name, for all you’ve done to shape my impressionable young mind into the active, open, confident, slightly-less-young mind that it is today, to Adam and Adam in particular for loving me like brothers (Adam B. is actually an honorary Newton now, and I think all of the Swensens count as family at this point) and for encouraging me to be the man God made me to be, to Tek for coming out of nowhere and enhancing my life with his ever-joyful influence, and especially, unequivocally to God for chasing me down and putting up with so much to mold this lump of dry dirt into a one-of-a-kind piece of art as only He can do. I love you all, and I owe you so much. Thank you for what you’ve done to make my twenty years on this earth so memorable. I can’t wait to see where the next year takes me.

In our culture, image is everything. If somebody’s seem cool and hip, he’s treated differently in almost every respect than somebody who pays no attention to what’s fashionable or currently acceptable according to our culture. But it doesn’t stop there. Beyond just being in tune with the culture, one has to ascribe to the particular aesthetic values and personality mold of a specific subset of the generally relevant.

We have an entire nomenclature devoted to categorizing people in this way. We have goths, jocks, frat boys, nerds, geeks (which is apparently something completely different than nerds, though I’ve never been able to tell the difference), skaters, gangsters (I’ve been told this can be used in a positive sense?), and, my favorite, hipsters. If you’re anything like me, an image, a stereotype, flashed before your mind’s eye at the mention of each of these labels. We automatically sort each person we meet into these boxes, but no human being can fit in a box.

Worse still, we sort ourselves into these boxes. We tell people, “I’m a bit of a jock,” or “I’m a band geek” as if that’s the most important thing for another person to know about us, and maybe it is, but it shouldn’t be. How sad of a life is it if a dumbbell, a piece of metal, defines your identity? How terrible, if some natural ability you possess is all that enables you to differentiate yourself from the mob of humanity?

I’m Adam Beckmeyer. I like books. Better, I love books. I enjoy long runs and fast-paced sports that aren’t called American Football. I like music. To a degree, I make music. None of that is important. None of that will help you to know me any better. It might help you know the image I project into the world. It might even give you some clues about who I am, but you’ll never know me that way.

Valentine’s Day is ostensibly about love. Personally, I think it’s more about chocolate, not that that’s a bad thing. Love is a relationship and a sacrifice. We love to talk about love. We put hearts on our t-shirts and X’s and O’x on the end of our letters. But it’s much harder to love people one doesn’t know. Worse still, it’s a cheaper variety of love. And how many people do we really know?

I’m Adam Beckmeyer. I am a sinner redeemed by grace. That’s the start and the most important part, but there’s more to me. I’m prone to pride and overbearing assertiveness. I’m fiercely loyal to those who have earned it and sometimes to those who have not. Large groups of people scare me. I’m curious—in every sense of the word. That’s just the beginning.

But I’m not even sure why I went to that trouble. Truth is, you can’t come to know me reading my words on a blog. It requires much more than that.

When I really think about it, I don’t know all that many people. I know about quite a few of them, as quite a few know about me, but I don’t know them. Why is this? How can we live in a world more populous than ever and still be only tenuously connected to our fellow man?

I’m convinced that a large piece of the problem are these boxes in which we put ourselves. Why should enjoy a particular kind of music just because the culturally acceptable subset to which I belong enjoys them. To give a specific example from a subset we all love oh so dearly, why should I dislike well-known music merely because it’s mainstream?

I may have given you the impression earlier that the actions we take and the activities in which we are involved are not a part of our identity or at least shouldn’t be. That isn’t what I was trying to convey. I don’t ever want participate in an activity merely because its the culturally expedient action to take. Neither do I want to avoid something for the same reason. Instead, every action I take should have a purpose, perhaps not a conscious one, but a purpose nonetheless. I play sports because I enjoy them. I attend classes so that I can fulfill God’s command to work and because knowledge is beautiful. Etc.

I feel as if all of the above paragraphs run together without really ever conveying my point. So here it is. Know people. Let people know you. Stop being a fake.

- Tim N.

1. Kelsey Rottiers and the Rising Tide. I went to a small concert on the campus of Cornerstone University earlier this winter that featured Kelsey (as well as two of the other artists featured in this post), and her acoustic set blew me away. She has a fantastic voice, and her smooth, laid back style is easy on the ears. Best of all, she’s a very talented lyricist, and her thoughts on love, God, and forgiveness will stick with you even when the music ends.
My favorite Kelsey line: “It takes time to baptize the shore/the peace of mind we’ve all stopped looking for.” (from “The Rising Tide”)

2. Doug Mains and the City Folk. Another one of the acts at the Cornerstone concert, this classy folk outfit has only released two singles on iTunes so far, but they’re currently working on a full album, and those singles are more than enticing enough to get me excited for the album’s release. “Theresa St. Johns” is a touching and poetic song about death and its effect on those left behind, while “Broken Windows” addresses issues of poverty and social justice with both musical and lyrical aplomb. Both are well worth the 99 cents.
My favorite City Folk line: “You’ve become satisfied with resting your rested eyes and you think of hope as a word instead of being it.” (from “Broken Windows”)

3. Two Steps From Hell. Their name may sound a bit creepy, but I promise they’re not a death metal band. In fact, this group creates sweeping orchestral music specifically for use in movie trailers, and they’ve released two compilations of such tunes for purchase by the general public: “Invincible” and “Archangel”. While all of the songs have a similarly epic feel to them (and they’re all instruments-only), Two Steps does an excellent job at providing variety and keeping every track from sounding the same. If you’ve ever wanted to feel like an action hero, this is the music for you.
My favorite Two Steps line: DRUMS DRUMS STRINGS BRASS INTENSE CHORAL BACKGROUND VOCALS! (from pretty much all of their songs)

4. Jordan Anderson. Jordan and his wife, Jessa, were the headliners at the Cornerstone concert, and while Jessa is an excellent musician who is achieving a lot of success on the CCM scene, I want to focus in on Jordan’s solo works, “The Popular Tree EP” and “Stand Up”, here. Jordan’s music has a wonderfully chill, jazzy sound that makes you want to tap your toes and sing along, and his excellent skill with both the piano and the guitar shines through on every track. Definitely a hidden gem, this guy.
My favorite Jordan line: “You think about your life in all its brevity… what are you saving your life for?” (from “Stand Up”)

5. The Wedding. I’m actually not sure how well-known this band is, and I know that they have several albums out there, but the piece of their discography that I specifically want to recommend is their EP “The Sound The Steel”. The Wedding is a full-on rock group, and they have the drums, guitars, and powerhouse vocals to prove it. What sets them apart from many similar bands, however, are their skillful, memorable lyrics and the tightly-woven experience of this EP itself. The songs’ themes, styles, and even titles follow a seamless progression that makes the album as a whole greater than the sum of its already excellent parts, and since it weighs in at just six tracks, it’s easy to find time to listen straight through.
My favorite The Wedding line: “Try as we may, your love always remains/and we cannot afford to be afraid anymore.” (from “Redeem”)

You are changing the world.

As you know, I am passionate about world change, and I want to see it come through my generation. Your belief in my generation is changing the world. I believe that the more you believe in someone, the more they will believe in themselves. That may not always be the case, but your belief is changing someone’s life.

My generation has so much potential, and you are showing them that.

As a recent youth grouper, I know that you are ministering in a pivotal point of your teen’s lives. So much will change between 6th grade and 12th grade, and you are helping to administer that change.

So keep up your good work! Continue loving on my generation, continue leading them through God’s word, and know that you ARE loved, appreciated, and noticed. Thank you for your ministry.

Thank you for loving the unlovable.

Thank you for putting your happiness on the line to administer to your students.

Thank you for not giving up on my generation.

Thank you for caring.

Thank you for meeting us where we are to show us Christ.

Thank you for the lives that have come to Christ through your tender care.

Thank you for following God closely, as an example to us.

A thousand words won’t do justice for my love for you men and women.

You mean A LOT.

Keep up your work for God.

Keep believing in us.

You mean A LOT.

1. Keep moving. I don’t know what it is about the produce section, but while everyone in the rest of the store seems to set their mind on what they want to buy and head straight for it, produce shoppers do a whole lot of painfully slow and aimless wandering. Sometimes they aren’t even looking at the shelves, they’re just staring forward and walking at the pace of an injured tortoise while the produce clerk stuck behind them is trying to get to the banana rack to refill it. Don’t be that guy. Glance around every once in a while to take stock of your surroundings so you don’t cause any traffic jams.

2. Be sure that you don’t know where it is. The most common question people ask me as a produce clerk is, “Where can I find _____?” Which is excellent, because a huge part of my job is to help people find the products that they want to buy, and I love doing it. I know the department inside and out and I can guide you to anything you need. The trouble is, many times the product in question is two feet away from where I am standing when you approach me to ask where it is, sitting on a shelf at eye level and clearly labeled, and all I can think is that if you really needed help finding that, you should see an eye doctor. So if you’re really not sure where to find the watercress, please do not hesitate to ask me, but glance around the general vicinity first to make sure you didn’t just roll on past it, please.

3. Don’t ask me for help when I’m on my lunch. Oh please, please, please, in the name of all that is good in this world, don’t do that to me. Believe me, I go to all of the effort that I possibly can to disguise the fact that I work here when I go on lunch. I un-tuck my shirt, I put on a jacket, I take off my name tag, and yet somehow people still manage to figure out that I am a store employee and they ask me to help them find things. I’ve seen customers stop an employee all bundled up and on his way to go home and ask for help. The worst part is, I am never, ever in my department when I am on lunch, so I have absolutely no idea where that thing you’re looking for is, either, but I’m not allowed to refuse to assist you, so I just deer-in-the-headlights for a second, sigh, and waste five minutes out of my half hour of down time trying to find somebody who can actually help you. So if you see a guy wearing what looks like the employee uniform but with a coat and no name tag wandering past the hardware aisle, please don’t ask him where you can get a fan for your woodstove that turns when the heat rises up the pipe. Just smile, nod, and look for someone with a name tag on, and know that you’ve done a true act of kindness.