It’s 10:33 PM and I’m finally sitting down to write today’s post. I’m sorry that it’s taken so long, but there are a few things that you should take into consideration before you throw things at me for being so late to post on my assigned day: 1) I have a massive case of writer’s block, 2) today was my grandma’s 80th birthday party, and 3) lemur. I’m going to work through those backwards or you’ll be wondering about the third one for the rest of the post.
3) Lemur. This is an inside joke between myself and Adam B. Back in Ye Olden Dayes of this summer he tried to help me out of writer’s block by telling me what word to write next. “Lemur” was one of his suggestions, and by some freak of nature it actually broke me out of my writer’s block. So when I tweeted a few minutes ago that I was fighting the block again, he replied “Lemur is your next word, Tim”. I had just typed the words “and 3)”, and the rest, as they say, is history. They really ought to stop saying that, by the way, it’s awfully cliche by now.
2) Today was my grandma’s 80th birthday party. At first, I wasn’t particularly interested in attending said party. I love my grandma and my family, but I am not a big fan of parties, and by “not a big fan” I mean “diametrically opposed with a mild phobia towards”. I just don’t deal well with that many people gathering in one place for the sole purpose of talking to each other for three hours, mostly because I’m kind of socially awkward and the idea of going somewhere with a lot of people where I’ll be expected to talk does not appeal to me. Still, the party turned out to be better than most parties, mostly because the Newton family is a wonderful group of people who are pleasant to talk to and also partly because someone brought awesome cheese dip and I only had to be there for two hours instead of three. Grandma’s actual birthday is this Wednesday, so more on this topic in my next Wednesday post.
3) I have a massive case of writer’s block. That’s not really a very good excuse, but it’s the only one I have. The thing with writer’s block, at least in my case, is that I don’t have any problem coming up with ideas for what to write. The blockage occurs when I actually try to put those ideas into words. I have an idea of where I want the post to go, the concepts make sense in my head, but I just can’t get them out in a way that satisfies me. It might be my perfectionism, it might be my high level of distractability, but for whatever reason I just sit staring at the screen and I cannot get my hands to type words that I like. Tonight, for example, I wanted to write about how I was going to start writing my post when my Dad came in and asked me who was playing the piano music coming out of my speakers. I told him that it was our accompanist from the Moody Men’s Collegiate Choir, Chris Wheeler, and from there we wound up talking about and listening to music together for about an hour and a half. He even suggested some songs and artists I might like to try in my quest to fill my new 160gb iPod, Vera. I was going to write about what a great moment that was and I had all kinds of things that I wanted to say about time and memories and relationships, but I just couldn’t express it poignantly enough and somehow I thought that that was a good reason to just not say it at all. Then, right about the same time that Adam tweeted “Your next word is lemur”, I realized that just because something isn’t perfectly written and touching and poignant doesn’t mean it isn’t true, so I’m going to say it anyway:
I’m going to say that the moments that make life great, the moments that you remember, are the ones that you spend with people that you love showing them that you love them. I don’t regret procrastinating on my blog post to talk about Rich Mullins and Needtobreathe and Mumford and Sons and Keith Green with my Dad because when it comes time for my 80th birthday party, I’m not going to say, “I remember that time when I sat down and wrote a blog post one Saturday.” I’m going to remember the time that I listened to “The Cave” with Dad and he said that it reminded him of how you used to love Simon and Garfunkel back in the day. I’m going to remember the time that I sat out on the porch of Blue Jay and fought through tears to reconcile with my brother. I’m going to remember pulling over on a whim to get the last ice-cream cone of the summer with my dad and sister and laughing about our familial weirdness. So why would I pass up the chance to do something memorable, something simple yet wonderful with the people that I love? And the best thing about memorable moments is that I’m not the only one who will remember them. The people who are there with me, the people I pour love into, the people who make my life memorable are going to remember those moments, too, and if I can be a positive part of their lives for just those few moments, I’ll be happy.
So there you have it. I’m sorry that it took me so long to put it into words, and I hope it makes sense. More than that, I hope it encourages you. Goodnight, everyone.