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Sleep and College are Incompatible

March 6, 2012

There once was a man named Adam. He was a happy fellow who enjoyed such pleasurable activities as eating food, sleeping in his bed, and reading far more books than most would consider entirely healthy. Then this Adam went to college.

At first everything seemed to be going well. Learning was just as easy as it had ever been, and there were all sorts of new experiences and new people to expand his comfort zone. Life was an adventure. Life is an adventure.

Unfortunately, not all adventures are pleasant ones, as this man was soon to find out. You see, college is full of new experiences–so full, in fact, that one often has to neglect old habits in order to make time for the new ones. Now, Adam couldn’t give up reading; that much was obvious. Most would also advise against the renunciation of food and eating purely for health reasons.

All that to say, I, Adam, am not getting as much sleep any longer as I technically ought. I’m averaging just over seven hours, and, while that’s on the high side compared to most other college students I know, it’s not really sufficient for me to be as alert in the morning as I’d like. This situation has led to the acquisition of some shiny new skills, but I’m not sure how much those skills are really worth. Chief among these skills is the ability to go from my bed to a classroom in under ten minutes, but they also include the ability to sleep in various positions and settings where I would be unable before.

Anyways, sometimes even when I do get to bed in a timely manner, I have trouble falling asleep. And when I have trouble falling asleep, I pull out a book and read. And once I start reading in bed, I find myself unable to stop for several hours. And once one is reading in bed for several hours, one looks up and suddenly realizes it’s two AM, and one has a class in six hours. This is not a good situation in which to be.

Moral of the story: don’t read books. Someday in college they will drive you to insomnia, and then someday that insomnia will cause failure on a test. Yes, literacy is undoubtedly a bad thing.

At least, I’m not laying in bed eating doughnuts, I guess.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 7, 2012 8:28 am

    funny funny funny! sorry, I know your tired.

  2. Tim's Dad permalink
    March 7, 2012 10:19 am

    I lost innumerable hours of sleep in my college years, nearly all having to do with things other than study. I figured that I would eventually catch up on the zzzzs when I got my degree and sallied forth into the “real world.” Ah, but I had not factored in the immense sleep depravation caused by sweet little babies! I married before I graduated from university, and by the time I did we were only a few short months away from Advanced Sleep Depravation 401 (also known as Andrew). Not only so, but my new late-night habits did not mere evaporate in the blazing light of responsibility when I got my job. No, it took four babies in the space of five years to sufficiently wear me out so that I began to actually use the hours of darkness for their intended purpose. To this day, I am still behind on my sleep, and I do not think that I will ever catch up! Oh, well, that’s why God made coffee! 🙂

  3. March 10, 2012 7:54 pm

    I have trouble getting to sleep because my neighbors watch movies until all hour of the night. I just turn my fan louder to drown about the noise. lol I feel your pain!

  4. March 10, 2012 11:21 pm

    “Chief among these skills is the ability to go from my bed to a classroom in under ten minutes.” Ooh, I’m good at that one, too. We should form a club. Of course, sometimes I fail really badly at this skill, like that time I missed my midterm… so maybe it’s not such a good skill to rely on after all. >_<

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