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Andrew Newton

November 4, 2013

Trying to trace Andrew Newton’s origins is a tricky task at best.  This is partly because he is a very secretive man and mostly because he is a figment of the Singular Spectrum’s collective imagination.

No one is sure which of us was the first to imagine Andrew, but he’s been around since the old days when it was just the Adams and me.  Back then, he wasn’t a contributor – he just sat around reading over our shoulders while we tried to write and eating all of our oatmeal.  As we added new authors to the mix, however, they began to contribute their brainpower to his existence as well and eventually he grew strong enough to write posts for himself.

All of the authors here imagine Andrew in different ways.  To Adam Beckmeyer, he’s an android butler with a heart of gold.  Adam Swensen sees him as a disembodied face with telekinetic powers, and the Allen sisters insist that he’s actually a clone of Jonathan Frakes (or Jack Black, depending on which sister you ask).  Aaron and Kristin still haven’t begun to imagine him yet.  Kristin has mentioned a figure dressed all in mauve who stands outside her house and hums the theme to MacGyver incessantly, but that’s probably unrelated.

As for me, I imagine Andrew as a slightly less handsome and witty version of myself.  His sense of humor is similar enough to mine to work well as a complement without overshadowing my jokes, and he is a writer just like me, although not quite as profoundly articulate.  He’d  be the ideal brother if he wasn’t imaginary, but that’s okay.  I love him just the way he is.

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