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Merely a Bedtime Story (Wink Wink)

November 5, 2013

Adam B was born a poor black child. He doesn’t remember much about this part of his life, because soon after his fifth birthday he was given a table lamp and told to venture forth into the unknown. He made his way towards the Great Lake region about the same time Sasquatch was awakening from his hibernation. As a fellow introvert, they became fast friends although they never actually spoke a word to each other. One day, Sasquatch realized that young Adam needed good people to teach him the basics of human interaction. He picked out the couple currently known as Adam’s parents and bid the young lad adieu.

Mr. and Mrs. B were very pleased, if at times confused, by their new son. They taught him scripture and he went on wild adventures with his siblings. For a couple years, Adam went in search of his old friend Sasquatch, since his family told him that Adam’s former life was probably a far-fetched invention of his imagination and he wanted to prove them wrong. So he left home and traveled the country with Al’s Circus. Eventually he became the star-performer, until the fateful Needle Incident. Do not speak of the Needle Incident. Let’s just say it ended in Adam falling through the air at terminal velocity to land in a truck full of pillows. Also do not speak of what was among the pillows.

Anyway, Adam eventually found himself back at the B’s residence, and proceeded living out his childhood as an apparently normal boy. Every once in a while, while grocery shopping or walking down a street, strangers will stop and salute him, hailing him ‘Lord Werriam,’ but we try to keep that hush-hush.

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